Ok, here goes.
Exerts from May 4th 2009

I felt so helpless last night. Seeing the emotions from Levi's face when () Monster re appears It is so hard, it puts me in the usual catch 22. Lord protect both my kids in all the areas I cannot.
Help me to help them know the truth.
This morning I felt overwhelmed with the impending debt I am about to face, so I prayed. I prayed for a good sign from you Lord
Anything for us to have a sense of not being stranded by continual sense of oppression.
I go to my mail box and A Bill, one that i not accurate, one that should not be a per a prior agreement that was made.
I felt like crying, like when the Mom ant the gymnastics told me her husband was a stand in for the kids.  I just felt deflated as stupid as that sounds. I have just felt lately it is our turn, the kids and I, we all need something to feel alive and excited about, to look forward to, we need a Good sign
But the holding cell. the pause button on our lives.... why cannot I feel your freedom? where is our liberty?  I feel choked and strangled most of the time yet I know I am grateful for your promises  We have had enough Lord. Please I beg your swiftness, I need help to keep trusting and to make the best of where we are, why we are here? Help us, Make the threat go away.
Forever
I believe int he promises you gave me
Can you Lord set us free? can you Lord make it happen, let no hands stand in the way I pray lord for finality for that finality for that final relief.we have been waiting for for so long. Please Lord we do need you help.  Will you help us Lord?  I ask for swiftness but I know that your timing is not mine.  Finality an end to the fear, stress and chaos that is what we need. Financially Lord we need your help provide for us a way to stay together, a way to make our own choices about our lives not someone else.
Yet I realize you are in control and you have kept me in a place where I am set apart, different than the worldly norm. I pray that for my children because they do not need the world, they need you God. Continue to untangle us Lord, help us to serve your purpose not the world.  My prayer today is word on financial relief....thank you for hearing me......